If You've Ever Tried and Failed at Budgeting

Sabeena Bubber • September 11, 2015

But it's still worth doing. 

  • To know how much we have available to spend right now, given the commitments we’ve made for the immediate future
  • To set aside money we don’t need now for things we know or think we’ll need in the future
  • To base our future spending decisions on a documented (rather than estimated) past
  • To know if a sudden or contemplated change to our income or expenses will be sustainable over the long term, and whether we should adjust our spending before it becomes a crisis

And finding a budgeting system that works for you, whatever your circumstances, is a matter of deciding why you’re budgeting in the first place…and only then deciding on a system to do it.


Starting with a system without thinking about what it has to do for you is one of the two reasons people fail at budgeting. (The other reason is that they’re using too many categories, btw.)


For example: You’re self-employed, with irregular income, joint expenses with your spouse, and a little bit of debt you’d like to get out from under. A particularly painful month makes it very clear that you’ve got to do something about your money, so you sign up for Mint. You enthusiastically set up your accounts and create a budget, logging in on your cell phone throughout the day and categorizing transactions enthusiastically…until your bank balance doesn’t quite match your Mint balance, and you realize that you forgot to budget enough for food but budgeted too much for shoes, and you were sick that week so you stopped checking whether Mint was categorizing your transactions properly, and now you’ve finally found a good deal on an almost-new freezer that you’ve been looking for for months on Kijiji and are flipping between your bank account and your Mint account trying to figure out if you can afford to take out the $400 to pay for it without throwing a major wrench into the next few weeks before your clients pay you, so…you think you’ve failed at budgeting.


Or: You and your partner work full-time at great-paying jobs, but have limited free time to do all of the million and one things you need and/or want to do, like spend time with your kids and cook at home. Every once in a while you think “we make lots of money…shouldn’t we have more to show for it?”, so one day you sign up for YNAB, take a few evenings to watch the videos, and begin assigning a job to every dollar you earn. You faithfully enter your transactions for a week, but realize your partner hasn’t been, and – given the punishing deadlines at work – probably won’t. You know you’re really supposed to enter those purchases manually, and feel kind of guilty every time you download them from the bank, and then your team starts a really exciting project, your kids finish the school year, and it’s not like you can’t pay off your credit card bill every month, and – besides – you make lots of money, so…you think you’ve failed at budgeting.


You aren’t wrong to get discouraged (although in each case you could conceivably have succeeded by dint of sheer bullheadedness). You’re just using a budgeting system not particularly well-suited for your circumstances. You’re spending your time solving a problem of lesser significance than your real problem. 


You’re using a rolled-up newspaper to fight off a bear, or a bazooka to get that damned chipmunk off your lawn. 



 

Chipmunk

Those people that we dismissed earlier? The ones who were in love with their budgeting system? They’re not us. What works for someone willing to helpfully share their opinion on reddit might not work for you for any number of very legitimate reasons.


So here’s what I propose: before you read another budgeting book, or test-drive another system, think about the most important problem you’re trying to solve. Is it really important to know how much you can spend now, and of lesser importance that you know how you spent last month? Are you trying to plan for the future and need to know what your normal and comfortable spending patterns are, but don’t have any real reason to change them?


(Some people can’t even answer this question right away. If you genuinely don’t know where to start, don’t sweat it. You’ll get there.)


I’ve failed at budgeting in the past. Many long years of trial and error, punctuated by brief bursts of book-inspired inspiration and longer bursts of discouragement have taught me this: the books aren’t necessarily wrong, anybody can make any budget system work (eventually), and chipmunks can be scared off with bazookas, but budgeting works best if you know why you’re doing it in the first place, and only then choose a tool that’s appropriate for the task.


SHARE THIS ARTICLE

RECENT POSTS

Your Guide to Successfully Navigating the Housing Market

By Sabeena Bubber • November 26, 2025
Wondering If Now’s the Right Time to Buy a Home? Start With These Questions Instead. Whether you're looking to buy your first home, move into something bigger, downsize, or find that perfect place to retire, it’s normal to feel unsure—especially with all the noise in the news about the economy and the housing market. The truth is, even in the most stable times, predicting the “perfect” time to buy a home is incredibly hard. The market will always have its ups and downs, and the headlines will never give you the full story. So instead of trying to time the market, here’s a different approach: Focus on your personal readiness—because that’s what truly matters. Here are some key questions to reflect on that can help bring clarity: Would owning a home right now put me in a stronger financial position in the long run? Can I comfortably afford a mortgage while maintaining the lifestyle I want? Is my job or income stable enough to support a new home? Do I have enough saved for a down payment, closing costs, and a little buffer? How long do I plan to stay in the property? If I had to sell earlier than planned, would I be financially okay? Will buying a home now support my long-term goals? Am I ready because I want to buy, or because I feel pressure to act quickly? Am I hesitating because of market fears, or do I have legitimate concerns? These are personal questions, not market ones—and that’s the point. The economy might change tomorrow, but your answers today can guide you toward a decision that actually fits your life. Here’s How I Can Help Buying a home doesn’t have to be stressful when you have a plan and someone to guide you through it. If you want to explore your options, talk through your goals, or just get a better sense of what’s possible, I’m here to help. The best place to start? A mortgage pre-approval . It’s free, it doesn’t lock you into anything, and it gives you a clear picture of what you can afford—so you can move forward with confidence, whether that means buying now or waiting. You don’t have to figure this out alone. If you’re curious, let’s talk. Together, we can map out a homebuying plan that works for you.

Everything You Need to Know About Second Mortgages

By Sabeena Bubber • November 19, 2025
What Is a Second Mortgage, Really? (It’s Not What Most People Think) If you’ve heard the term “second mortgage” and assumed it refers to the next mortgage you take out after your first one ends, you’re not alone. It’s a common misconception—but the reality is a bit different. A second mortgage isn’t about the order of mortgages over time. It’s actually about the number of loans secured against a single property —at the same time. So, What Exactly Is a Second Mortgage? When you first buy a home, your mortgage is registered on the property in first position . This simply means your lender has the primary legal claim to your property if you ever sell it or default. A second mortgage is another loan that’s added on top of your existing mortgage. It’s registered in second position , meaning the lender only gets paid out after the first mortgage is settled. If you sell your home, any proceeds go toward paying off the first mortgage first, then the second one, and any remaining equity is yours. It’s important to note: You still keep your original mortgage and keep making payments on it —the second mortgage is an entirely separate agreement layered on top. Why Would Anyone Take Out a Second Mortgage? There are a few good reasons homeowners choose this route: You want to tap into your home equity without refinancing your existing mortgage. Your current mortgage has great terms (like a low interest rate), and breaking it would trigger hefty penalties. You need access to funds quickly , and a second mortgage is faster and more flexible than refinancing. One common use? Debt consolidation . If you’re juggling high-interest credit card or personal loan debt, a second mortgage can help reduce your overall interest costs and improve monthly cash flow. Is a Second Mortgage Right for You? A second mortgage can be a smart solution in the right situation—but it’s not always the best move. It depends on your current mortgage terms, your equity, and your financial goals. If you’re curious about how a second mortgage could work for your situation—or if you’re considering your options to improve cash flow or access equity—let’s talk. I’d be happy to walk you through it and help you explore the right path forward. Reach out anytime—we’ll figure it out together.

Divorce and Your Mortgage: What You Need to Know

By Sabeena Bubber • November 12, 2025
Going Through a Separation? Here’s What You Need to Know About Your Mortgage Separation or divorce can be one of life’s most stressful transitions—and when real estate is involved, the financial side of things can get complicated fast. If you and your partner own a home together, figuring out what happens next with your mortgage is a critical step in moving forward. Here’s what you need to know: You’re Still Responsible for Mortgage Payments Even if your relationship changes, your obligation to your mortgage lender doesn’t. If your name is on the mortgage, you’re fully responsible for making sure payments continue. Missed payments can lead to penalties, damage your credit, or even put your home at risk of foreclosure. If you relied on your partner to handle payments during the relationship, now is the time to take a proactive role. Contact your lender directly to confirm everything is on track. Breaking or Changing Your Mortgage Comes With Costs Dividing your finances might mean refinancing, removing someone from the title, or selling the home. All of these options come with potential legal fees, appraisal costs, and mortgage penalties—especially if you’re mid-term with a fixed-rate mortgage. Before making any decisions, speak with your lender to get a clear picture of the potential costs. This info can be helpful when finalizing your separation agreement. Legal Status Affects Financing If you're applying for a new mortgage after a separation, lenders will want to see official documentation—like a signed separation agreement or divorce decree. These documents help the lender assess any ongoing financial obligations like child or spousal support, which may impact your ability to qualify. No paperwork yet? Expect delays and added scrutiny in the mortgage process until everything is finalized. Qualifying on One Income Can Be Tougher Many couples qualify for mortgages based on combined income. After a separation, your borrowing power may decrease if you're now applying solo. This can affect your ability to buy a new home or stay in the one you currently own. A mortgage professional can help you reassess your financial picture and identify options that make sense for your situation—whether that means buying on your own, co-signing with a family member, or exploring government programs. Buying Out Your Partner? You May Have Extra Flexibility In cases where one person wants to stay in the home, lenders may offer special flexibility. Unlike traditional refinancing, which typically caps borrowing at 80% of the home’s value, a “spousal buyout” may allow you to access up to 95%—making it easier to compensate your former partner and retain the home. This option is especially useful for families looking to minimize disruption for children or maintain community ties. You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone Separation is never simple—but with the right support, you can move forward with clarity and confidence. Whether you’re keeping the home, selling, or starting fresh, working with a mortgage professional can help you understand your options and create a strategy that aligns with your new goals. Let’s talk through your situation and explore the best path forward. I’m here to help.

LET'S TALK

SABEENA BUBBER

MORTGAGE BROKER | AMP

Contact Us